Seriously, I'm damn MOODY and SAD, having headache and I didn't post as I promised. But I promised to be happy even if I'm sad right? So I'll just say out all my unhappiness. Sorry for the promise broken. Anyway, other than my besties in school, who still read my blog? I believe no one. And this will be a super duper long post.

I was tossing round the bed last night, and was reflecting. I'm not being emo, I'm sorry for that. But, I think, why everyone is complaining their life? I really don't know. I know I'm sad myself, but I didn't want to admit right from the start, and pretend I'm happy all along. I'm in this current class which I dislike, for true friends, I really don't have lots. But for enemies, I guess tons. I really don't know how my attitude like now can go lasting for how long, but it'll be soon that I will become another person. My brother has been scolding me fuck-tard outta nothing since the last incident. And WTF did I do? I'm always been the one that got scold, even mom, always scold me first, when I'm in no wrong rather than my brother. And my brother is complaining all about his lifes, how PATHETIC he is. Get this clear, please, don't compare me with him. Cause he don't like it too. It's either my friends or his friends, we don't mix now. And my character hasn't been good all along, attitude problems keep popping out outta no reason. This might really kill me in the end, which I really think it's meaningless to live without friends. I've not much friends in class, no one to pull me up when I'm in need of help, no one to encourage me when I'm sad, and no one ever notice I'd a change of emotions in me, just because I laughed?

And what I dreamt of yesterday is even worst. I dreamt of me, myself had my niece killed. I harm my niece. It happened like this, I don't know why. With 2 hours of sleeps, I can dreamt of something that ridiculous lah. My family is in the middle of the sea. And there were this whirlpool that seperate my family apart. And somehow I'm with my niece somehow lah. -_-! Don't know why, suddenly jumped scene. And you know I don't know how to swim lah, we were on lifeguard, the life vest or something. And my niece was like sucking into the whirlpool, and I failed to save her, which I cannot managed to pull out her from under the sea for sometime, causing her to die. I'm really terrified, waking up from my fear. I really don't wished anything won't happened, even if it's a dream.

And nuffnang is not working, so I gonna remove it from now on. Cause it sucks lah, puipui. It make me feel like giving a damn shit about complaining as the company has been using me for so long, and now suddenly kick me aside.

As today assembly was about aspiration, and showed a video of ASPIRATION, I almost cried. In my heart, I'm bleeding. I forgot what's the content is all about, and now I believe all this was RETRIBUTION. I used to treat others as what I expect them to be, not being themselves. For all this fucking godness sake, I think all their attitude are caused by me. Good and bad, all caused by my fucking own atittude that I'd.

I skipped PE again. PE totally sucks, when my friends are in my class, not even PE with me. How I wish Sec2B was with me all along! Carefree and happy. And Ms Neo mention volleyball in the next few weeks, I felt happy at first, but I ignore then needs of playing volleyball now. It seem meaningless now, and I'm not gonna take part in any PE from right now on.

For chinese, thanks Ms Lee. For humiliating me right infront of so many peoples, correcting my chinese writing. I felt so paishe at that moment, with many eyes staring at me, mouth laughing at me, I became speechless at that point of moment. What's the point of humiliating me? Already I'm in bad mood for fucking god sake. Why don't you kill me instead? And damn that si botak Yanxing, like calling me gay is it?

Chemistry! I learnt new things again. Although it is suppose to be taught last year, but I didn't cherish the time and learnt it. It is.. balancing the.. atoms I think? I forgot. ROFL.

Damn, tomorrow school end at 4.30p.m due to the CCA, whole school end at that time lah, what a dumb school. And no one is supposed to leave as the gates will be locked. But tomorrow no volleyball as there are tournament going on! So we'll sit there and do nothing.

And at night, we went to Family and eat. Very expensive -_-! But worth it lah, we had fun eating and my mood seems to brighten up. HAHA, cause got crabs, ice-cream, cakes, soups, and so many things lah! HAHA, can I choose to upload pictures tomorrow?

P/S: I've the adobe disk which Aaron lent from Benjamin, but haven't install, Aaron, send me the crack key? And I think I'm gonna end my friendster and blog soon like I told my besties earlier on.

YYY
Time have proven everything, your loss of my remains.
http://www.biddinggoodbye.blogspot.com/